When I was about 10 I was already quite an idiot, but you could say that about any 10 year old I suppose. I was also wildly unpopular to both my classmates and my teacher. I spent many days sitting in a corner, all by myself, because I did something stupid. Like for example sharpening all the colored pencils more than halfway through. It was the first time I used an automatic sharpener and I couldn't believe how well it worked. Just push the pencil in and keep pushing for a few more moments and... the pencil was almost gone! I had to keep trying this of course and that's how I got to meet the headmaster on my first day at a new school.
Sadly I was completely oblivious to my lack of popularity in my class. That's why I didn't feel any shame in going around all the girls with a little questionare which I quickly scribbled on a piece of paper. I asked all the girls what they would say if I asked them to be my girlfriend. I went back to my seat with a very disappointing looking list in my hands.
I wasn't oblivious anymore and felt like an idiot.
A few years later I went to high school where puberty hit me hard, which meant, for me, that for the first time I was paying attention to girls in a different way. Not talking to them of course, that would be too scary. But definitely paying attention from a distance. I quite liked one particular girl but I didn't know what to do about it and I didn't dare to tell anyone else about it. So, I just had to figure out how to win her over all by myself.
This is what I did one day in order to make her know I liked her:
I knew that she lived in the same area as I did and also had to ride her bike the same route as me. With this information I left school one day as quickly as possible and drove for about 5 minutes. I stopped at an intersection and casually waited for her to pass me by. That way, when I saw her and she saw me... I could wave at her. That's it. Nothing more. Just my wave alone would be the expression of love she needed to know we were meant for each other!
Sadly I never got to give her my wave. I stood there for over two hours but she didn't show up.
The next day I casually fumbled my way into an explanation to where she was. Turned out she took a slightly different route that day.
This actually happened. I'm an idiot.
A year previous when I was still at primary school, a different one, a girl from the class parallel to mine said she wanted to be my girlfriend. I didn't know her very well but I also felt like I shouldn't waste the opportunity that was thrown in my prepubescent lap. I didn't know what I was supposed to do now I actually had a girlfriend but she seemed nice, acted mature and was quite... formed compared to the other girls.
So suddenly we were a couple and even went on a date: swimming.
I never liked swimming and as my father recently reminded me: it took me four years and two different schools to learn it. Still, off we went and I suppose we had a good time. There was one moment from that day I remember very clearly though: Standing across from her while we were both showering off the pool water. She was wearing a light purple swimsuit with zippers placed strategically all over it. The most strategical one ran diagonally over her left breast. She asked me if I didn't feel like standing next to her. I politely declined.
I knew that what I was looking at was special, but I had no clue what to do about it. Later, outside the swimming pool she tried to kiss me but I didn't want to. Afterwards I felt very mature by saying to myself I was too young for that kind of stuff.
About a week later, on the school playground, she walked over. She stood in front of me and pinned me to a little wall just as the bell rang for us to go back inside. She placed her mouth on mine and tried to stick her tongue between my lips. I pushed her away and walked back into school shocked at what just happened. I told my friends about it and they agreed it was a crazy thing for her to do. We broke up very soon after that.
So the next year in high school, when my hormones were going in overdrive, I felt like a idiot for not kissing her back. Suddenly kissing a girl was all I wanted and I probably blew my only chance. Luckily I didn't.
A few months later I had my first real kiss standing between the bike stands behind my high school and my first real girlfriend. We didn't last long though. I think I made her crazy by calling her all the time and wanting to be with her. I suppose I'm a bit of an idiot, but that's ok.
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