I don't know why but I asked my son if he was throwing stuff at his teacher today while she wasn't looking. He couldn't grasp the idea that you would throw something at your teacher. I'm pretty sure I never did that either but I had the urge many times. When I said that another kid in my class did that once and not me when were teenagers, he smiled and thought that boy was very cool and very naughty at the same time. Little did he know that I was thinking of a completely different incident. One where my classmate had to sit at the front of the class facing us, because he had been so annoying during the lesson and instead of throwing something as he sat there he decided to undo his zipper, put his hand down his jeans and slipped his hand out via the open zipper and started waving at us. We couldn't stop laughing and when our teacher looked what was going on, to his eternal credit, he waved at her too. She yelled at him to leave the building at once. Not the classroom. The entire building.

I told my son that I too sometimes had fights with my teachers. Usually they were angry with me because I didn't do my homework. That shocked my 8 year old son. He told me he has never forgotten to do his homework once. I said that's because he has such a sweet mother who reminds him to do it. She was sitting next to him while we were talking on Skype about this and she said that she didn't need to remind him. My blatant attempt at flattery backfired so I decided to add a little sugar and say that's she's sweet regardless. I'm not sure what she thought of it but I know my son enjoys me talking about her like that. 

The questions about me not doing my homework from him persisted and I moved the story along by telling him the times I got into fights with teachers about other stuff. I have a more than healthy problem with authority and when my teachers used their authority for bad I got into revolt. Most of the times it had nothing to do with me, but fuck with my classmates without being reasonable and I was objecting like I was in an American court room. I felt I had the moral imperative and that made most of my teachers throw me out of their classrooms. Not the building though mind you. But not all of them. A select few liked me for it. Especially my history teacher took a shine to me. He justifiably threw me out for not doing my homework more times than I can count but I did have his respect. When I graduated he has his doubts about me becoming a better student someday, but he loved having me in his class. He even gave me the best compliment I've ever received. He said I was always funny, but never hurtful with my jokes. 

Nevertheless I regret not doing my homework so many times. I regret that so many times my parents had to come over to my school to have a serious discussion about my work ethic and my doomed future if I kept going like I did. Everyone tried hard to make me see that I needed to change but I didn't. I did want them to be proud of the student I could be but that just wasn't me. 

Im a very, VERY big screw up that also has to fight authority, injustice and be funny without being hurtful. I'm not sure if that's enough, but that's who I am. 

My future isn't doomed though. I have the love of my son. I'm sure that actually is enough. For me it is anyway.